Surrender

I’m trying to stay on task with all things I must accomplish today. There is so much noise. The roofers are banging away with their radio blasting – Mariachi music, which I love, but today it is just plain annoying. I find it competing with my own praise music coming from the TV. The internet is not working again. Bang…there goes another crash on the roof. SO MUCH NOISE! There is no sign of a restful heart this morning. I find myself keeping time and rhythm with all the chaos. Anxious, frantic, heart pounding out of control and in this moment I realize why I am out of sync. Did I stop and thank You this morning Lord? Did I pause for just a moment and acknowledge Your presence in my life today? Did I invite You to guide my steps?

In this exact moment, as I realize I started my day without You, the phone rings. It’s the internet company acknowledging their system is having issues again. Frustration gives way to understanding and encouragement to the poor man on the phone who is having a much worse day than I. I shut the stereo off, why am I adding to the noise by competing with the roofers’ music? In fact, I was missing out. They are joyously working away on my roof and I can hear them singing along. A smile crosses my face as I listen and watch the young man outside my window dance and then climb the ladder with shingles on his back. You are at work. You are giving me peace. You are reminding me that You are present through the chaos if only I ask You to meet me there. It would have been easy to let the enemy derail my day in frustration, to be unkind words on my lips. You have again proven to be trustworthy. You’ve brought me new mercies as I consciously re-start my day with You at the wheel. It’s continual surrender of this life. Oh how I need You.

The lyrics of Phil Wickham’s Always Forever play over in my mind but  as I recall that You need me too.

You (Jacci) are the love I need.

You (Jacci) are the air I breathe.

You (Jacci) are my love my life

Always Forever

I have laid down my life

Just to be by your side

You are my love my life

Always Forever

You need me willing to surrender. You need me willing to cry out to You, to worship You, to adore You, to love You. It’s not that You cannot do anything and everything…but You choose to need me. It doesn’t make You weak – instead You become stronger to me and more alive. I need You to save me and You do. I need You to love me and You do, in spite of myself. I need You to guide me but You need me to ask You. You love me so much that You will let me go my own way if that is what I chose. Lord, You humble me as I realize that Your beautiful heart is vulnerable. You crave me as much as I crave You. You truly pursue me and romance me but You need me to do the same. So I am running to You, chasing You, seeking more of You, loving You more each moment as You reveal Yourself to me.

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it. Hebrews 4:16 (NLT)

God, it is to Your throne I come asking forgiveness for walking out into the world without You this day. Thank You for all the distractions – they were the guides bringing me back to You. As much as I dislike frustration, You work it for good. You use my failings to teach me and remind me that it’s a daily surrender of my life. Let me be a beacon of Your beauty today. Give me words of encouragement to share with others. Be the light in my eyes and the attitude of grace shown in all that I do. Amen