Today while out in the garage, I came across my mother-in-law's copy of Etiquette by Emily Post - published 1955 (originally published 1922). Any of you who were blessed enough to have met my M-I-L Betty knows that she put manners and etiquette very high on her priority list. She wasn't always the most tactful with family but in "polite society" there is no one person I can think of who ever had better manners or ease of grace at entertaining.
I opened the book and came across this passage, "Decency means not merely propriety of speech and conduct, but honesty and trustworthiness in every obligation. Integrity includes not only honesty but a delicacy of motive and fairness in appraising the motives of others. Self-respect, among many other things, means refusal to accept obligations that one is unwilling to return. This word unwilling is of importance, since there is no more contemptible person than one who takes all he can get and gives as little as he can. Loyalty means faithfulness not only to friends, but to principles."
WOW - I now know why this woman has always been so highly regarded for her opinion on manners and proper values. I don't know a lot about Emily Post but just by reading that bit, I think she must have known God very well. As Christians aren't we told to guard our tongues, be honest and speak the truth in all matters. Are we not held to regard the values of Christ as the model for our behavior and to be considerate of all people - even when they aren't "just like us?" We are to have self-respect and not make vows we cannot or will not keep. We are to give as much as we can and graciously take what is freely given (ugh, do I struggle with that one - can I get an AMEN?) We are to be faithful - to each other, to God, to our beliefs. Way to go Emily - you preach it Sister! (I sense a groan for my use of "slang" on that one from our dearly departed Emily)
What an amazing book! Now, I have no use for much of the specific customs of how to run your household complete with maid, butler, valet, etc... but there is still excellent principle within how to treat those who "society" would not consider an equal. What wonderful advice on letter writing and making a home inviting. Some of these "old-fashioned" ideas are still so applicable today - and have been copied and sold off as "new". For example, the love bank. Sound familiar to those who have done marriage studies? It's our dear friend, Emily, who writes "If something is seriously wrong, if she (speaking of the wife) is really ill, that is different. But of the petty things that are only remembered in order to be told to gain sympathy - beware! There is a big deposit of sympathy in the bank of love, but don't draw out little sums every hour or so - so that by and by, when perhaps you need it badly, it all drawn out and you yourself don't know how or on what it was spent." Dr. Lehman...did you read Emily Post before you started your books? Did you Dr. Dobson? LOL! I think I'm going to keep this book handy in the house for future reference. It's good to be reminded that what was true in the days of the bible still rang true in 1922 and still ring true today!
1 comment:
Though I have never read Emily Post, I believe you are right in saying she sounds like she adheres to the principles of Christ. Integrity, graciousness and generosity are the pillars of good manners. I am with you, however, in not being very good at receiving... though we must be reminded that is part of graciousness. A tough lesson to learn and one we are both in the position to pay attention too, eh? Great post, sister!
Post a Comment