Finding our groove

Here we are...three weeks in!  It takes time but we're finding our groove as we start week 4.  This adventure is not for the meek or the easily frustrated.  I've found myself wanting to give up at least twice but even then it wasn't that I wanted to give up schooling, it was more of a complete personal meltdown that really just required a "Mommy Time Out" - even if that just meant time by myself to go brush the horses, or take a shower, or read a few pages in a book without the fighting.

Fighting.  Well, there's a bit of crazy.  Lately it seems I'm always fighting with someone, for someone.  Epiphany finally hit.  The boys aren't really naughty all the time.  They just do such a good job of taking turns being naughty and spacing it just right that it SEEMS like I'm always in conflict about something with someone.  Truth is they are very sweet and loving and just when I want to run screaming down the driveway begging a passerby to take me away, they do something amazing.  It's a big brother helping build a cool Lego car for a little brother.  It's boys with heads together looking in a exploration book.  It's a 4 year old snuggled with a puppy, head on his big brother's lap, sleeping.

So I learn.  To breathe in and breathe out.  To soak up the moments when there is peace and unpack them as a good memory when the tired overwhelms a boy.  When the tears start.  When a fist is raised.  

We've made it this far.  We are learning.  Learning to be content and at peace with each other.  Learning to be partners.  Friends.  Companions.  We are finding the joy of coming back together after having visited a friend for there really is no place like home.  We can share.  We can work together.  We can still love  - even in anger.  We can forgive when the anger passes.  Math, English, Science...yes, important to know but it's the character development that we most need.  THIS is why we are here.